We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
