Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
