I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize