she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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