i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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