Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Duck Duck Cougar?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
