You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
