LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
