mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
