Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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