I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
