I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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