this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
