My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I currently don't understand fingers.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
