i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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