Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
