just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize