im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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