11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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