Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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