I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
