it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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