you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
