Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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