i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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