billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
