I got chris browned last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
