just survived the first fart of the relationship.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
