Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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