I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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