omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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