Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
ok first of all what the fuck
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize