i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
