we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
