My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize