This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
