I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
