If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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