That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
