ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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