honey bunches of taint.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
