I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
