i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
