When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
