used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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