Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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