I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
