drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
