Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
