well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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