Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
