You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
