I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
