why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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