Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
