Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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