we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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