she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
