so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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